I hesitate to even begin writing this, because even the first sentence feels like I am giving up hope and heading down that path of being "infertile." Today continues to be depressing. All I have been doing at work is looking at last-ditch pregnancy hope posts on-line. What the fuck am I doing to myself?
I just got off the phone with the wife. We had originally planned on 2 more medicated at-home inseminations. So far we have done 3. And we have already spent about $3000 when all is said and done. I don't want to be that couple who is writing about their infertility for the next several years. I want to be successful NOW...as I am sure we all do. Am I throwing away $600 a month inseminating at home? Why not pay a little extra ($1200) and up the chances of conceiving? It hasn't been set in stone yet, but I think we are considering moving up a notch in our aggressiveness. I think it's time to do IUI's with triggers. It won't be cheap, and our insurance won't contribute a dime. But it is only money in the long run...and we have it sitting in our "what if" savings account....even thinking about touching that makes the financial freak inside my head SCREAM...but that's okay. I guess I'll just have to tell him to shut the fuck up.
As my wife says, "It's time to get back in the saddle."
Let's hope that saddle is securely fastened and the horse is fast.
2 days ago
2 comments:
Aw crap. I hate to hear that things haven't gone as planned for you guys. Perhaps the move for internship and accompanied change in insurance will be helpful and move things along.
This roller coaster is crazy, that's for sure. I'm not even sure I enjoy it anymore. :(
Yeah...I don't enjoy it at all anymore...not a single aspect of it really. The only thing I'll enjoy is an eventual BFP. And my insurance for internship has a 2 month delay! So lame...which is why we are going to forge ahead and pay out of pocket until then...if no BFP by November, we'll switch to injectibles or IVF on the new insurance's dime...and it is 100% coverage. I checked :)
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