2 dpo...yes I am counting

Today I had 5 clients back to back for a total of 7 hours in session...and a few minutes in-between each to try and write up notes/reports/check emails. So it was busy...which is good because I don't think about babies...until the madness ends and I am back to counting the days.

I also made an on-line friend today who lives in the city that the wife and I are moving to in less than 3 months. Yay friends! This is especially cool, because we know nobody within 200 miles AND they are also a lesbian-couple who is trying to conceive their first child...and if that wasn't enough...one of them is working on a PhD! So there are a lot of basic things in common, and perhaps a lot of shared experiences. And we might get together when KB and i go look for a place to live.

Why do I feel like we are being set up on a couples blind date? "I'll be the one dressed in black with a red rose and a copy of the great gadsby..."

Bon Anniversaire

Today is our 1-year wedding anniversary, which makes us no longer newly-weds. Wouldn't it be a great story if we conceived the same weekend as our wedding anniversary?! (insert a really long sigh here)

1dpo. 14 more to go. I have never before wished the busy workweek would come faster...

And yet another tww begins

It is so hard to walk the line between optimism and realism. Every tww I tell myself I am not going to get my hopes up, and every tww I fail. Today is day one of this tww and I already am finding myself feeling some compassion for what individuals with bipolar go through (although my mood swings are much less intense and rapid cycling). One minute I am picturing my pregnant wife and I walking down the neighborhood strip talking about baby. The next minute I have visions of the two of us in our old age, childless and living with a thousand fury creatures.

And I am also vacillating between feeling like I was a good gynocologist this month and doubting everything. What if all the sperm falls out? What if they can't get through the cervix due to hostile mucous? What if our timing was off? What if all the sperm die before they reach the golden Mecca? What if I poked too far into the cervix and kb gets an infection? What if I got air into her uterus? And worst of all...what if kb does not get pregnant but somehow i do because i was handling the goods and also am currently ovulating (i realize this is completely irrational)? And the list goes on and on.

Oh boy. I'm in for a long two weeks. I need to find more activities to fill whatever freetime I have.

Oh ye of little faith

KB just texted me to tell me that we are definitely close to ovulation...guess I spoke too soon about the EWCM thing...WOOHOO! At least now we still have two vials left for this highly fertile time!

Fourth time's a charm

After my freakout yesterday, we decided to get a fourth vial...just to be safe. If I were the one carrying this time around, this would be much easier, because my reproductive system works like clockwork...almost to the hour...and ovulation is very easy to predict, based on physical changes. But alas, KB has a much trickier cycle (shorter and not always the same number of days each month) and clomid is a cruel cruel fertility drug. I don't even know why we use OPK's...they never show up...and EWCM--what EWCM? It doesn't exist thanks to clomid.

So, armed with our 4th vial and some fantastic pre-seed, we truck along...every 36 hours. Let's see how this works..