Place to live...FOUND

So this morning I got a call from my wife...and for context, we've really been stressing out about the living arrangments when we move back to Chicago because we can't see the place before renting (since we won't be able to get out there due to a very pregnant wife)...and because we are going to be living very frugally next year on my post-doc salary.

It turns out, her parents, who own a two bedroom in the suburbs have decided to go down to their place in Florida starting in October this year and they are staying there until April (with a few weekend visits to see their grandbaby of course)! And they have offered us the use of their house until they get back RENT-FREE AND UTILITIES-FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is a major relief. Now the wife does not have to find a job so soon and leave the care of our new infant in the hands of strangers (which there is nothing wrong with...no judgment...it's just, what mother wouldn't prefer to be with her baby for longer than most maternity leaves allow?) and can be at home with the baby during the week until she is about 7 months old. And, the wife can still work for the catering company we used to work for on the weekends to earn a little extra cash for the savings account!

This really is a huge blessing. I'm not really sure how we are going to pay back the in-laws. Perhaps in 10 years we can cover the cost of a 50th anniversary party? That might do it. :)

I'm so happy right now....huge stressor was just removed.

Whirlwind

Ladies and gentlemen, we are moving back to CHICAGO!!!! I got the job!!!!
So with a very young infant, we will be making the trek back to the windy city the beginning of September. I'm totally excited and totally nervous. The wife has to look for a new job, we spent almost all of our savings trying to get pregnant, and I will be making a post-doc salary. But we will be home, supported by our family and friends. And you can't really put a price on that. So now in addition to preparing for baby, I have to pack all uneeded stuff, find a place to live, and all those details.

We live a crazy little life!

Crazy week!

So many things are happening this week, I feel overwhelmed. For starters, I was notified yesterday that I'll be receiving a research award at an international conference I am presenting at in 3 weeks. That was pretty cool to hear...and even better...they are paying for my conference fees and hotel! Nice!

Later yesterday evening, we got a call from our realtor and somebody made an offer on our Condo back home. So now we are counter-offering, and hope to settle only a few grand under our asking price (which was aggressively priced to begin with)...so that is really good news if it all works out!

And I wish I could add my news about the job I am waiting to hear from...but alas...I cannot. I know they met yesterday to discuss the applicants. I know it is between me and one other applicant. I have no idea when I will find out. I've been expecting a call forever now...and it seems like the deadline just kept being pushed back for various reasons. But my best friend (who currently works there) assures me that I should know soon. Which is good...I feel like I've been watching the phone and that is not so good.

No news about the baby really. The wife does have to go in for a third blood transfusion this saturday. She's just not able to keep up with the blood demands from vampire baby. But other than that everything is fine...

It's been a pretty nutsy week so far. I hope it gets even nutsier...like today...comeon major hospital in Chicago...call me already!

30 work days left.

After today, the workday count is down to 30. Of course, I don't work on Fridays anymore (I take my "research hours.")...so it means more than 6 weeks...about 8 to be exact. But man, it feels good to say I only have 30 more days until I can start putting the PhD after my name and until I can earn a little more money (sort of...I have one more year of slave-labor until I'm "licensed."--Ohh the hoops I have to jump through! So one more year of poverty!). And it will mean I am officially done with graduate school. I just have to have my final post-defense draft approved by my dissertation chair, and the cord will be cut.

And in about 8 weeks another cord is going to be cut...great timing :)

Guilty little secret

For mothers' day this year, as a sort of pre-motherhood treat, I ordered two necklaces inscribed with huckleberry's name and what we hope to be her birthstone (we are due mid-august so it felt fairly safe). We just got the necklaces last week, and both of us have been wearing them to work ever since! It feels so dangerous! Probably a dozen colleagues have asked about her name, not knowing that all the while it was written right in front of their noses! Such a fun game. It's the little things that amuse me.

Too soon for nesting?

While I really feel that I have been pretty steadily nesting since at least the 20th week of pregnancy, it has really taken to a new level lately. Ever since entering the third trimester and having the constant reminder that we are having a baby (as evidenced by the wife's rapidly growing belly), I feel this sense of anxiety all of a sudden and I feel compelled to do baby-related stuff to prepare for upcoming motherhood. It isn't so much anxiety about being good parents (although I do feel that periodically when I am impatient with our dog or drivers on the road...and also at other times). It isn't necessarily worry about what might happen at delivery/birth or later in our daughter's life (like hydrocephalous, or distress during delivery, or autism, or bipolar when she's in her 20's, or being hit by a car when she learns to drive...etc). It isn't so much emotional and personal preparedness concerns. I feel emotionally pretty prepared and ready to meet our daughter.

It's physical for sure. The funny thing, is that we have so much stuff for her and have almost everything we might need for the first few years of life (save for laundry detergent and a few miscellaneous things). So, I guess it isn't even having all the stuff we need. It's that it feels like there is so much left to do.

I made a list of the things left to do and assigned them to our remaining weekends before she's born (about 8-11 we hope). And the list isn't even that long. We've set up the room and washed all of her 0-6 month clothing and linens. We've organized, organized, and done more organizing.

But we do have to figure out how to install the car seat, attend birthing classes, finish off our cloth diaper collection and wash them several times, pack a "go-bag" for the hospital, sterilize breast-milk containers for when I start pumping in less-than-a-month, desensitize the dog to all of her toys and equipment, buy breastfeeding bras...blah blah blah.

It isn't that much and yet it feels overwhelming. I think the bigger question that makes me more and more anxious and feeds into this sense of dread is whether or not we are moving (which will make the to-do list much greater...packing boxes...ugh)...which I have yet to find out. I still haven't heard from fancy-but-underpaid job in Chicago. I know too much about the whole process for sure...which doesn't help me deal with it. For example...I know that there is one applicant left and she's interviewing next Monday. So I know I won't know about the job until then...but dammit...I want to know so I can start packing and getting rid of stuff that we won't have room for if we have to move back into our 1-bedroom condo.

This next few weeks may require extra meditation...cause the anxiety. Oy. And now that I've written this, which was somewhat cathartic...I am starting to worry a little more about being a good parent and all that can happen to her in life. Sometimes I wish for the days where we were ignorant about harmful things....but then again...ignorance is not so bliss either.

The Baby-moon

The wife and I decided several months ago that we would take one last vacation, with just the two of us (in outside-of-the-womb life that is) before baby-girl is born. So...I just happened to get a reservation at an awesome little cabin that is usually sold out for years ahead of time on Cape Cod, and we enjoyed 3 lovely nights (that also coincided with Memorial Day Wknd and the Wife's 36th birthday) on the beach. Literally, our cabin was beachfront...and waves may have hit the house a few times during high tide. It was so so so great. And realistically, in about 9 weeks or so, we won't be enjoying wknds away without children very often. So it was needed.

the funny thing is, the whole time we were there, while I was thinking about how nice it was to be just the two of us, I was also fantasizing about bringing baby-girl to the beach and watching her toddle around and I was thinking about how our accomodations would be perfect for a couple and a baby....And I bought a few souvenirs for someone who has yet to be born (although, how can you pass up a 1973 edition of "Peanuts" dictionary? Really.)...

Let's hope that I can actually bring baby-girl to the beach and that there won't be a decade-long ban on swimming in ocean water because of the BP--f-up. And on that note, I think all you readers should boycott BP and spread the word. There has to be some way of holding them accountable for their lack of action. Maybe a grass-roots movement is just the thing...

Anyhoo.

It was a beautiful wknd...but I'm so ready for this parenting thing. And she's coming in 9-12 weeks!