And yet another tww begins

It is so hard to walk the line between optimism and realism. Every tww I tell myself I am not going to get my hopes up, and every tww I fail. Today is day one of this tww and I already am finding myself feeling some compassion for what individuals with bipolar go through (although my mood swings are much less intense and rapid cycling). One minute I am picturing my pregnant wife and I walking down the neighborhood strip talking about baby. The next minute I have visions of the two of us in our old age, childless and living with a thousand fury creatures.

And I am also vacillating between feeling like I was a good gynocologist this month and doubting everything. What if all the sperm falls out? What if they can't get through the cervix due to hostile mucous? What if our timing was off? What if all the sperm die before they reach the golden Mecca? What if I poked too far into the cervix and kb gets an infection? What if I got air into her uterus? And worst of all...what if kb does not get pregnant but somehow i do because i was handling the goods and also am currently ovulating (i realize this is completely irrational)? And the list goes on and on.

Oh boy. I'm in for a long two weeks. I need to find more activities to fill whatever freetime I have.